The Little Things

When is it that babies lose their newborn scent? If you’re a parent, I’m sure you know the smell I’m talking about. You can smell it best on the top of their heads, under their chubby chins, and in their heavy breathing while fast asleep. The kind of sleep where their mouths have fallen wide open and soft little snores can be heard if you listen closely.  If you’re not a parent, then I probably sound weird at the moment and that’s ok. I can be pretty weird 95% of the time. But I regress. 

One night I was rocking my 7 month old back to sleep for the second time that night when it hit me. At some point over the past 2 months she had grown up just enough that her newborn scent had disappeared. She was still so little to me yet she had grown and changed so much. With both of my girls, the sweet newborn baby breath was one of my favorite smells. 

How had I missed it? 

How long had it been gone?

This is basically how most of parenthood goes. We become so focused on what our babies can do next that we forget about what they can do and who they are in the moment. Watching my girls grow has been the most bittersweet blessing I have ever had. When I was pregnant with #1, my husband and I would laugh when people would tell us that our kids would be off to college in the blink of any eye. That statement seemed so silly to us because well it’s just obviously impossible. But I have never had an impossible statement feel more true. 

Often, I act impatiently with our oldest because bedtime feels like a lifetime. We have to read three books and sing three songs every single night. And these aren’t just your typical six page board books. No, no, no. She goes for those books that contain three stories in one and are about 60 pages long. And the songs? She likes to take her time choosing those just because she can. 

With our youngest, she’s pretty easy to put to bed. Clean diaper, cozy jammies, snuggly blanket, noise machine on full blast, and she nurses to sleep in about 15 minutes while being rocked. Pretty great, right? It really is! Until she wakes up 2 hours later, then 2 hours after that, and so on. Waking every 2 hours is exhausting. #1 was an amazing sleeper and rarely woke up during the night. 

But you know what I miss? Those late night snuggles. The ones where she only needed me and felt perfectly safe and content in my arms. It’s funny how the most exhausting times can be the most memorable. 

I am going to try to pay more attention to the little things. Like the sweet smell of my baby, how she plays with my hair while she’s nursing, the excitement my toddler finds from reading the same book for the 17th time, and her asking me to sing “Cheyenne’s Mama’s Baby” when she’s feeling extra sleepy. These are the things I want to tuck away into my mind and keep forever. Babies don’t keep, but memories do.